I’m asking this as a real question. It’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more, as I uncover ways in which my own conditioning has been to not invest in myself, and worse – to not realize I’m worth investing in.
It feels like women over 40, and probably some younger, have been conditioned not to invest but to spend – on consumer goods or for their families. Men, in general, have had more conditioning to invest (even if they’re also good at spending!).
It’s something we need to be aware of, in order to break through and claim our rightful place in sharing our unique gifts with the world. As the Dalai Lama famously said, the world will be saved by western women.
But how are we going to do that if we don’t realize our potential worth? If we don’t see the incredible value of sharing our gifts or our message? It takes investing in ourselves – being willing to take a risk – in order to do that!
I was reminded of this the other day when I spoke with a prospective client. She’s incredibly passionate about her message, and really wants to share it with large numbers of people in order to improve their lives. I could feel her desire to help others pouring through the phone line, and was really excited about helping her craft her story and message to share with them. And she really wanted to work with me, as my style of coaching resonated deeply with her.
But when I told her what it her investment would be, (a relatively modest amount), I could feel her backing off. She ultimately chose not to work with me. And I was upset. Not because I didn’t get a client, but because her message won’t be shared the way it could, and her passion for her topic won’t find its best expression. It might be a long time before she is finally able to make an investment in herself. And that’s a shame!
Do you do this? You know you have a message to share, you know you can make a real difference in the world, but you’re not able to bring yourself to invest up front to get the coaching or training you need in order to get there? Let me ask you, is it really a money issue, or is it that you’ve never considered spending money now (on yourself) to get a big return later?
A lot of it is in the way we were brought up. But once we identify and expose that, we can start to get past it. (And yes, it might be hard!) But it is right and necessary to invest in ourselves. The world needs us!
I’d really love to know what you think about this issue. Feel free to respond in the comments. (In some browsers you need to click on the blog title to have the option to leave a comment at the bottom.)